You Are Not Smarter Than a Kumquat if,
· You criticize Simone Biles while needing a step ladder to reach the balance beam.
· You believe that feeding a cold will cure covid.
· You think being governor gives you a free pass. [You must be President for that.] [See almost any recent article with “Cuomo” in the headline.]
· You think everything bad that happens is always someone else’s fault. [Just listen to Margaritaville all the way through to clear this up.]
· You think facts are negotiable.
· You don’t think there can be a twist on Fox News. [To make sense of this you must read this.]
· You think pretending history doesn’t exist exempts you from repeating it.
· You think covid is passed along only by others, especially along the U.S./Mexico border.
· You think hopelessly complicated conspiracy theories happen all the time. [If you do, grab your special pillow and sleep on it.]
· You think that a scientist being wrong gives you a free pass to do any damn thing you want.
· You, as Florida’s governor, build a wall and stand with your back against it.
· You accept the following as justification to have a party with 700,000 invited to attend — “I expect that when you have a virus and a pandemic that is expanding, you’re going to have increased numbers, whether we have a party here or not,” Woodruff told The Post.
· You think Sherlock Holmes doesn’t know pee happens. [From the case of a new dog, a locked room in an older house, and a puddle on the floor.]
· You think tomorrow’s weather and tomorrow’s weather forecast are the same thing.